What if you were a close personal friend of Billy Graham? Let’s say you and your wife had gone to Montreat, N.C. for one of his marriage seminars in the early 1980’s and when the time came for personal ministry, he just happened to come to where you were kneeling at the altar. You shared your issues with him just like you would have with whoever had come down and he prayed for you. His prayer really touched you and something was fixed or enhanced in your marriage that day. This is a very typical situation for any Christian who goes to a retreat or a meeting and goes down front to receive prayer and ministry.
Afterwards you went up to him and thanked him for his prayer, and he, in his humility, asked you more about your family. You shared with him a bit and in your usual style you made some sort of humorous crack about one of your kids, a wayward son, and it made him laugh, a big belly laugh. Then he shared with you that he also had a wayward son that God was working on and you agreed to pray for each other’s sons.
You went your separate ways and thought that was the apex of the relationship. You waved at him from a distance several more times during the retreat and he acknowledged your gesture. You had quite an anecdote to tell your friends. I got to share with Billy Graham! End of story.
But it was not the end of the story. Billy was writing a new book about wayward children and he remembered your humorous remark. He wants to use it in his book, so he calls you up to get your permission. (That would be the right thing for any author to do.) The phone rings and it is from North Carolina. The only people you know in North Carolina are your credit card companies, so you get ready to dismiss some guy who is offering you the super platinum with a free bankruptcy filing as a reward.
The voice on the phone says, “Is this Wayne Clark?” “Yes, it is,” you say as you coil for the next response. “This is Billy Graham.” POW! You are no longer cool, suave and clever. You are rebooting your mouth as fast as you can go, because nothing you had in mind is appropriate for what you need to say here. Finally, after a few seconds that seem like an hour, you respond, “Well, hello, Brother Graham, it is nice to hear from you. Can I help you with something?” While you are processing through three or four answers that you think would have been better, he tells you what he wants. “Sure, you can use my story. No problem. Can I give you my house as well? (You actually did not say that last thing but, in your panic, you thought it.)
He asks for some more detail from the story and likes what God has done in your boy more and more as you tell it. (Your wife is asking you if you have seen her car keys. She asks several times, but you are juggling your testimony of divine intervention with the foremost evangelist of the day and telling her, “Shut up! I have Billy Graham on the phone!” She looks at you with that look and you know you are going to need more marriage counseling.
I do not want to belabor the story, but a bond is created between you and Billy. Further correspondence leads to an offer of dinner two months later when He and Ruth are in your town. He would be delighted. You are woozy. You are looking around your own home to find out where the candid camera has been hidden. The date comes. They come and a friendship develops. Seems normal enough to Billy and Ruth, but it is stunning to you and your wife (who has quit interrupting you when you are on the phone.)
The Grahams are amazing people, ordinary in some respects and yet there is more in them. You sense it even though you cannot define it. You value it and it inspires you to be a better man. You quit being as profane as before just because you would not want Billy to hear you say that. You raise your game because of the relationship. And you handle that relationship with kid gloves. You do not brag about it or trot it out for amusement or aggrandizement.
In fact, you tell almost no one about it. It is somehow holy, precious. Billy likes some of the stuff you have written and calls you to chat about it. Can I use that anecdote, he asks.” Sure. Would you like my house as well?” (Again, you did not really say that. It just pops into your head.) You cannot believe this is happening to you, but everybody has friends. Why shouldn’t Billy? Why it should be you is another matter. Somehow you realize that God did this. Only God could do it. And you are in awe.
Word begins to trickle out that you know Billy Graham. You begin to be asked about it and it makes you uncomfortable, so you downplay it. It is too precious to mess with. It would be profane to “use” it for personal gain. Years go by and you find that you have become a better man because of this ongoing relationship. It was not so much that you tried harder. It was that the relationship made you want to be better and the Holy Spirit did the rest of it.
A number of years later, tragedy strikes your life. Your son dies, the one who had the problems with rebellion many years ago. You are stunned. God is helping you and you are holding up well, better than you thought you would. God is gracious, but you do not seem to have the gears necessary to organize what is going on around you. You are on autopilot. You are just flowing with it all. Others have jumped in to carry the ball.
And then you get a call from Billy. He heard about your son. He wonders if he might say some words at the funeral. He comes. He speaks. He is a friend of God bringing the voice of God. People are awestruck. For the rest of your life you will bask in the reflected glory of God’s prophet. It is a significant thing to be the friend of God’s friend.
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I do not know Billy Graham. I have never met him. Billy Graham has such friends as I described, but it isn’t me. I have not had that privilege. I HAVE, however, had the privilege of being a friend of the living God. We met in a similar way. It started off with me going to an altar in need of ministry. It was He who came down to minster to me that day. He looked a lot like Brother Rogers from Evangel Tabernacle, but it was really God.
He gave me words that touched me, changed me. He listened to what I had to say and it touched Him. Can you imagine that? The living God was touched by what I had to say! I thought it was a one-time encounter. He is busy. He deals with presidents and saints. He has people who do that for Him; i.e., talk to people like me. I knew how privileged I was to have Him personally meet me at the altar, but I did not expect any personal follow up. Once was more than I expected. It was enough for me.
But it wasn’t enough for Him. He liked talking to me, He said. He wanted to talk more, to pursue the relationship. He called me back. He invited me to dine with Him. He paid. He told His friends and acquaintances about me and what I had said that He found so interesting, friends like Michael and Gabriel and others friends he had flying around the place.
He called often to check on me and invited me to call Him at any time. He showed up when my son died and spoke healing words of power and comfort. Many people there were impressed. They thought it was me speaking, but it was Him. It is always Him when I speak words of power and comfort. He has become my best friend and He seems happy in the relationship. Frankly, I am blown away. (I offered to give Him my house and anything else He wanted.)
Our friendship changes me. I do things differently than I did before. I find I want to please Him, or at least to not embarrass Him. He draws out of me my better side and makes the other seem silly and meaningless. The more I spend time with Him, the more I find I am becoming like Him. And yet He makes me feel that being with me is a good thing for Him. His friendship makes me feel valued. It is generous of Him and it makes me want to be generous. It is forgiving and makes me want to be forgiving. I come to value His other friends (and He seems to have many).
He befriends me in such a way that I do not find myself jealous of His other friends. He seems to befriend each one fully and fulfillingly. I guess I am mostly feeling gratitude. Who am I that my Lord should come unto me? (Elizabeth said something like that to Mary in Luke 1:43. I know just how she felt.) But He did come to me and I am very thankful. I would love to introduce Him to you sometime if you do not already know Him.
Maybe you know Him as an acquaintance. Maybe He has touched your life like a doctor would. But I assure you that He wants to be more than an acquaintance or your doctor. He wants to be your friend. I know it is hard to get your mind around it at first. It was for me, but it is all right there in the Bible. Turns out God has a habit of making human friends. Turns out that it is what makes Him happy.
First, He was friends with Adam and Eve. They were good friends at first, then they kind of got sidetracked from the relationship. But God did not get sidetracked in His love. He was their friend on earth for 900 years even after that. Abel and Seth had relationships with Him. Enoch was such a good friend that God broke the rules and just took Enoch up to Heaven while he was still alive. Noah was God’s friend. Then there was Abraham. It was Abraham that taught us how to be God’s friend; i.e., what was required to make it work. It was simply to trust Him and be rightly related to Him and to His other friends. That is all that is required.
James 2:23 “And Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness,” and he was called the friend of God. NASB
2 Chron 20:7Didst Thou not, O our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before Thy people Israel, and give it to the descendants of Abraham Thy friend forever?
NASB
Job was a contemporary of Abraham and another good friend of God. He was always on God’s mind and God was always on his. God’s mind is always on all of us in the same way. God was a good friend to Jacob even though Jacob was a bit of a scoundrel at times. Jacob wrestled with God and came away limping but God was his faithful friend all through the years. Joseph was a really good friend and that friendship carried Joseph though many difficult times.
It seems to work that way with friends of God. Moses became a particularly close friend of God. Once when some relatives tried to take over Moses’ responsibilities and foment trouble for him, God called a meeting and “splained” it to them (as Ricky Ricardo would say.) It wasn’t pretty. It reads like this.
Num 12:4-8 And suddenly the LORD said to Moses and Aaron and to Miriam, “You three come out to the tent of meeting.” So the three of them came out. 5 Then the LORD came down in a pillar of cloud and stood at the doorway of the tent, and He called Aaron and Miriam. When they had both come forward, 6 He said, “Hear now My words: If there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, shall make Myself known to him in a vision. I shall speak with him in a dream. 7 “Not so, with My servant Moses. He is faithful in all My household. 8 With him I speak mouth to mouth, even openly, and not in dark sayings, and he beholds the form of the LORD. (In other words, Moses is a good friend of mine.) Why then were you not afraid to speak against My servant (friend), against Moses?” NASB
Lest you think I am making this up or taking liberties with the text, let me offer you this.
Ex 33:9-11 And it came about, whenever Moses entered the tent, the pillar of cloud would descend and stand at the entrance of the tent; and the LORD would speak with Moses. 10 When all the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance of the tent, all the people would arise and worship, each at the entrance of his tent. 11 Thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend. NASB
There have been countless others, such as: Joshua the faithful follower, Rahab the innkeeper, Samuel the judge, Deborah and Gideon, David the flawed king, Isaiah the prophet (and many others like him), Esther and Ruth, the gentile woman, Ezra, Nehemiah and John the Baptist.
Hebrews 11 tells us of countless friends most of whom were unnamed and unimportant in the world, about as unimportant as you and me. Like Abraham, they knew what was required to be God’s friend (and it is simpler than you might think. It surprised me.) They knew that you merely needed to trust God and want to be His friend; i.e., to want to have a relationship with Him and to know that God rewards with friendship those who sincerely seek Him.
Heb 11:6-7 And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. NASB
Israel as a nation became God’s friend, and not because they deserved it. They became God’s friend because their father Abraham was God’s friend. Maybe Abraham deserved it, but Israel got the benefit of it. God often treated them as special friends. I don’t deserve to be God’s friend, but Jesus does and He has befriended me.
Isa 41:8-10 “But you, Israel, My servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, descendant of Abraham, My friend, 9 you whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called from its remotest parts, and said to you, ‘You are My servant. I have chosen you and not rejected you. 10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you. NASB
I have discovered that very few of God’s friends ever deserve it. God does not base His friendship on our goodness or He would have few, if any, friends. He knows that we are flawed, but that He can fix that in time, or in eternity. No, God offers friendship strictly on the basis of His goodness and our seeking to fellowship with Him. He is available to befriend anyone, everyone actually, if they would seek Him.
You know, I love my puppy even though he soils the rug. I plan to help him get over that, but I love him before he does. I love my children even when they do not always behave particularly well. I hope to help them with that, but my love is unconditional. Jesus explained it this way.
Matt 7:9-11 Or what man is there among you, when his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone? 10 “Or if he shall ask for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? 11 “If you then, being evil (corrupted by sin), know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! NASB
God gave us natural things to teach us spiritual things. Parenthood, for instance, is a metaphor for God’s amazing capacity to love us. Before I had children, I understood parenthood intellectually, but after I had my children, I understood it in a much deeper way. A parent has unconditional love for his child. A mother will walk her son to the gas chamber, even if she knows he is wrong. He is, after all, still her son.
If I am in a restaurant and some kid is acting up, he needs a spanking. If my kid is acting up, he needs a nap. Parents love deeply in spite of the way their children behave. I get that now after having children. Somewhere along the line I decided that God is at least as good a parent as I am , — and at least as good a man as I am. I realized His extraordinary friendship for me flowed from His extraordinary love, NOT my extraordinary worthiness.
Jesus, who is the perfect reflection of the Father, befriended any and all who sought His friendship, even known sinners.
Matt 11:19 “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax-gatherers and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.” NASB
Jesus made friends out of His disciples who began with Him merely as students in a master-servant relationship. (In the Bible, the disciples of masters were called servants or even slaves.) Over time his disciples became His good friends.
Jn 15:15 “No longer do I call you slaves (disciples), for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. NASB
He only required that they put God first in their lives and love one another unconditionally in the way He had loved them, in spite of their flaws. Their being His friend was contingent on their willingness to be obedient to God and to befriend others.
John 15:12-14 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. 13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. 14 “You are My friends, if you do what I command you.”
So it was with the Father, according to David, a man who well understood friendship. David knew that God’s friendship with him was not diminished by his occasional bad behaviors. David knew that when he repented, God would be ready to forgive him. He was secure in God’s love for him.
David had a friend in Jonathan whom he said he valued more than even the women in his life. David knew he could count on Jonathan’s friendship even if it cost Jonathan the throne. The Bible lists a number of men who were friends of David. God said that David was “a man after His own heart,” a good definition of a friend. In effect, God was saying, “David gets Me, so he thinks like I do, and I like that about him.” David understood that to be God’s friend required (as Jesus taught) that we must be a good friend to others as well.
Ps 15:1-3 O LORD, who may abide in Thy tent? Who may dwell on Thy holy hill? 2 He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart. 3 He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend. NASB
Let’s talk about what this means to you and me in our day. It means that it is central to God’s nature to make friends, and He wants to be my friend and your friend. In the Bible, these friendships are spoken of as covenantal relationships. A covenant is a mutual agreement between two people promising to care for one another. (A marriage is an example of a covenant.)
Biblical covenants were always agreements ratified by the shedding of blood (animal sacrifice). If we are desirous of the relationship with God, He will shed the necessary blood. He is the more significant partner. He brings more to the relationship. We have more to gain in the friendship than He does (like it would be if Billy Graham offered to become our friend), but God does not see it that way (nor would Billy probably). He relates to us as if He is the one benefitted. He acts as if the friendship is at least as important to Him as it is to us, and that is why it so humbling to me and provokes such gratitude.
God loves us. He values us. He seeks us out even before we come to know Him. He admires us from afar and seeks to draw us closer to Himself. Forget good works as what is most important to God. Forget religion as what He most desires from us.
Ps 51:16-17 For Thou dost not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it. Thou art not pleased with burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and a contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise. NASB
God just wants to be our friend. Two remarkable scriptures help to make this point clear. First scripture: we are told that Jesus endured the cross to receive a reward or a prize.
Heb 12:2 … fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. NASB
It is easy to misinterpret that the prize (the joy) Jesus wanted was to become highly exalted, to sit at the right hand of God and be acknowledged as Lord by every creature who ever lived. But He already had all of that before He came to earth. Why would He leave there and come here to win what He already had? That was not the prize He came here to win. The prize He came here to win was you and me. We are the reason He left heaven and came here to live, to suffer and to die. He had us in mind from the beginning. God does not want our religious behavior. God wants us! He wants you and me, personally, individually and intimately.
Phil 2:5-11 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those who are in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. NASB
Second scripture: we are told that He emptied Himself out (left His super powers behind), took on the form of a bondservant, became fully human and humbled Himself even unto death on the cross. Paul goes on to say that the victorious Jesus became highly exalted, sat at the right hand of the Father and, as a result, will be honored as Lord by every creature who ever lived.
What if Billy Graham called me us and said, “Wayne, I want to tell you how blessed I am that you would be my friend!” Tilt! Tilt! Does Not Compute! Danger, Will Rogers! Systems are down! And yet that is exactly how the living God feels about you and me. He loves us like a firstborn child. He cherishes us in our innocence and in our potential greatness. He sees us as how we will be, not just how we are now, and He values being with us.
That is why we should go to church. We do not go to church to become God’s friend. We go to church because we are God’s friend and because we are friends with God’s other friends. We go there to learn what we can do for Him and for his other friends, “the least of these, My brethren.”
Bottom Line: All salvation is based in relationship and all relationship is based in trust. Or put another way: What God is after is our friendship. He wants to be our friend.
You say that God’s word to you has not always been very friendly. Like your earthly Father, He has often chastised you for your behavior. Get over it! Friends tell each other the truth. The wisest man who ever lived addressed this issue.
Prov 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. NASB
God is not mean. God is just OTHER. For us to draw closer to Him, we will have to change. Our unholiness cannot survive His presence without alteration. When Moses spent face time with God, it so altered his appearance that he frightened the people
and he had to wear a veil over his face
Ex 34:29-35 And it came about when Moses was coming down from Mount Sinai (and the two tablets of the testimony were in Moses’ hand as he was coming down from the mountain), that Moses did not know that the skin of his face shone because of his speaking with Him. 30 So when Aaron and all the sons of Israel saw Moses, behold, the skin of his face shone, and they were afraid to come near him. 31 Then Moses called to them, and Aaron and all the rulers in the congregation returned to him; and Moses spoke to them. 32 And afterward all the sons of Israel came near, and he commanded them to do everything that the LORD had spoken to him on Mount Sinai. 33 When Moses had finished speaking with them, he put a veil over his face. 34 But whenever Moses went in before the LORD to speak with Him, he would take off the veil until he came out; and whenever he came out and spoke to the sons of Israel what he had been commanded, 35 the sons of Israel would see the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses’ face shone. So Moses would replace the veil over his face until he went in to speak with Him. NASB
Spending time with our friend, God, will alter us. We will become different. His presence in our life will change us. People will notice it and some will become alarmed. Others will marvel and inquire. God knows we will have to become different in order to increase our friendship with Him, and God knows we cannot change ourselves, so God will make the changes in us as we ask Him.
God reveals Himself to those who seek Him. God’s desire for fellowship with us is so strong (like yours would be for your child), that He is ready and able to do all the heavy lifting in the relationship. We just need to be desirous of that relationship. If you knew your lost child wanted to come home to be with you, to have fellowship with you again, to be your friend again, how much would you pay for the plane ticket? How quickly would you get to the airport?
I think God’s desire to be with me began to really dawn on me when our youngest son, Ben was lost in drugs. He was captured, kidnapped as it were by an enemy. I wanted my son back like a man wants water in the desert. I tried everything and nothing worked. I read about the father of the prodigal son who looked down the road daily to see if his son was returning. He knew he could not undo the past damage. He just wanted him back as a friend. I knew I could not undo Ben’s past damage. I just wanted him back as a friend.
As much as I was hungry for fellowship with my boy, Ben was unable to reciprocate.
He was hopeless and in despair. He eventually knew he had messed up and did not think friendship was ever possible again. He failed to understand the depth of my love and my desire for fellowship with him. So it is with God. He wants to have a relationship with us even more than we would with our child. And He defines that relationship as friendship. God wants to be our friend, and He wants us to want that also. Now THAT, I think, is good news!